"Dirge Hill is stuffed with sights to see! Like the backs of everyone briskly leaving here to go someplace else."
-R. Blines
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The Blister Ward
This abandoned tent city was where the dreaded Ferryman Fits sprung up all them years ago. I remember hearing all kinds of stories about it as a child. Funny little disease, if you ask me, with all the twitching and the jerking! Anyway, if you're the believing type, this is where Saint Jasmine sacrificed herself to rid Dirge Hill of the gruesome pestilence. To this day, the place is relatively untouched (bad memories abound, it seems). Never been there, myself, as I ain't the adventurous sort.
Eight Bridge Station
As you might expect, our sleepy little home isn't much of a tourist attraction, but I must say, the old Eight Bridge seems to be picking up business as of late. This homely little station has a kind of ramshackle charm to it, in my personal opinion, and it seems we get more and more visitors daily. Must be all this strangeness going around, eh?
Capstone Road
The most famous road in the area is also the most used, and the good ol' Capstone'll take you anywhere you need to go in Dirge Hill. I travel it often on my sojourns into town to pick up this or that. It's well-paved and safe...enough.
#12 Capstone
Off one of the sideroads from Capstone Road is the #12 Cabin, home to the ill-tempered Mister Lowell Sparland. Mister Sparland used to be a card-carrying member of our funny little social club, but is currently enjoying his retirement. Mister Umaru tells me he still lends assistance to his former organization from time to time, but I've yet to meet the man.
Melody Square
The proper social hub of Dirge Hill, and by far the most populous congregation of shops and homes in the area. The people here might seem a bit dour, but we Dirge-Hillers generally keep to ourselves and expect the same of others.
The Off-Note Tavern
Remember them shops I was talking about just before? The Off-Note is a fine place to get a drink and catch a chat with old Archy Owensby, the proprietor of the place. He's always stuffed with the latest gossip. Think I'll head over and enjoy a drink after I finish up some chores, in fact...
Tinbarrel Tower
A foreboding, rotting tower looms tall into the sky beside the River Needle, and used to house prisoners in darker times. The crumbling, blasted stone monolith is something of a deathtrap, and every day that the thing doesn't crumple to a pile of dusty ruin is a surprise to me!
The Falconer Foods Factory
The smog-belching eyesore that looks more like some gated fortress than an place of industry is where Falconer Foods has set up roots. You know, we had a pleasant little slice of England on our hands at one time, but it seems that the modern age has come busting down our door and setting up shop. Ah, well, it was nice while it lasted, I suppose. Mister Umaru thinks that the Factory is the source of some mischief, but I don't get involved in all that. Don't know if I want to know, to be honest.
Carlister House
Ah, home sweet home! The place is a bit shabby and could use a fresh coat of paint, but this is where the bulk of my strange employers' work gets done. It's a bit secluded, but I rather like the tranquility of it. We're still unpacking the place and making it a fitting Lodge, but I see potential. Now that we've assembled our little Hunting Party, I see a dramatic increase in my chores on the horizon! Phyllis and I have a little Groundskeeper's shack on the grounds, and it's where we both do our sleeping (though she outpaces me there by a wide margin).
The Monday Homestead
Terrible, what happened to the nice family at the Monday residence. A great fire turned the place to cinder and ashes, leaving a burnt out shack in its wake. From what I heard, a married couple took in a troubled youth that turned out to be their undoing, but you'll find no shortage of mournful gossip round these parts. Still, something gives me the shivers about that place...
Old Orrey Mines
These desolate tunnels have been done in by time and neglect, with all the precious Cold Iron long since plucked free and smelted down. Like most things in the area, there is but a ghost of the prosperity and bounty that once was. These days, few people take to the mines unless they have to.
Trumpeter's Folly Racetrack
If there's one thing that brings the people of Dirge Hill together (aside from casual disinterest) it's a day at the races. The yearly Dirge Hill Derby is a cause for great celebration and carousing of a social manner in the area, and it's quite the spectacle, if I do say so myself.
Eternal Echo Cemetery
The final resting place for all us Dirge Dwellers, you'll find eternal peace at affordable prices here in the local burial grounds. Normally serene and quiet, the cemetery has been buzzing with strange activity lately. If so inclined, stop by and pay your respects. It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there!
Brindler Reed Orphanage
Once a beacon of hope for the disadvantaged children of the region, old Brindler Reed was supposed to be a sprawling Orphanage catering to the wellspring of desperate youths shuffling about, but the construction was held up and later abandoned through one financial fiasco or another. Matters of numbers and economics ain't me strong suit, but it's still a crying shame, nonetheless. These days, the Orphanage is half finished and abandoned, acting as a hideout for the desperate and law-averse among us.
The Cluttered Purse General Shoppe
Audrey Barroway is a relentless gossip, knowing every little thing going on about town. A vital source for information and current events, you can also pick up just about anything you could ask for in her tiny little shop. How she manages to keep so much inventory in that tiny little space is anyone's guess, but the old girl is always ready with a smile and a chat.
The Weirwood Collection
I ain't much on history, but I am told Franklin J. Weirwood has brought his curious collectibles to Dirge Hill for some reason. I suppose we should all be grateful for a chance at some cultural enlightenment, but one has to wonder why, of all places, he'd pick this location to house his wares. Never met the man, meself, but rumor has it he's not the most affable fellow. Takes all kinds, I suppose.
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